"Dude, wasn't that just the most awesome wedding ceremony ever?" Bobby asked his buddy, Link.
"Epic, bro!" Link confirmed, wiping an imaginary tear from his eye.
Both young men burst into laughter.
Bobby put his arm around his friend's shoulder and turned him slowly through 180 degrees to take in the reception room. "See anything you like?"
Link nodded. "You mean, apart from Paula, right?"
Bobby squeezed Link's shoulder, hard. "She's pretty sweet, dude, but she's my big brother's wife now."
"The mcbride and groom," Link confirmed, referring to Paula's Scottish ancestry.
"For real! But there are rules, Link. If you wanted to bang her you should have done it just before the ceremony. Don't you know that's why they have all those little rooms everywhere in churches. It's like, a tradition or something."
"I know, Bobby-Sue, I'm not a hick, bro," Link said, aggrieved. "Whoa, who's that?"
"I saw her first!" Bobby exclaimed, scanning the room to see who Link was referring to, but it was soon obvious. She was tall and slim, dark tousled hair cascaded over her shoulders and her face was all big blue eyes and cherry lips. "I'm in love, dude..."
Link squinted at her, now that he could see the woman properly. "I don't know, man. I think she's older than my mother. Who is she?"
"That's Marrietta, boys." It was Paula's father, Ted. Fortunately he had only just arrived and hadn't heard their earlier conversation. "From my wife's side. You watch yourself now. That side of the family are... colorful. Circus folk, artists, performers, writers. Not respectable."
"Not respectable?" Bobby perked up.
Ted laughed. "I better watch what I'm saying. Aww, you're only young once, Robert." Bobby cringed. "You should go chat. I heard one of the missus' second cousins say she was a cougar."
"Huh?" Link queried, eloquently.
"An older lady who favors the company of younger men." Ted explained.
"Oh, I'll accompany her, boss," Bobby said. "I'll accompany her all night long..."
"Go for it, bro!" Link said, slapping his friend on the back.
Bobby didn't so much approach Marietta, as he was drawn into her orbit. From the moment she smiled at him slyly as he approached, until she was pressing him down onto the motel bed, he couldn't remember a single thing he'd said. But whatever it was, it had worked.
He closed his eyes and moaned as she drew her nails roughly across his chest. But as her fangs closed on his throat, he realised exactly what they meant by cougar.