Thursday, March 25, 2010

Scattered Pearls - #fridayflash

Tap. Tap. Tap.

Warm air lapped the back of his neck, blowing through from the open window behind him.

Tap. Tap. Tap.

Traffic sounds, voices and a far off siren carried on the breeze, but he could only hear the fireworks that had lit up the night as they watched from the Pont des Arts.

Tap. Tap. Tap.

The dazzling lights in the sky had momentarily captivated them, but only briefly. They had faced each other, fingers entwined, sharing a single thought. She smiled and he knew.

Tap. Tap. Tap.

They kissed. Their lips touched, tenderly at first, then parted and fiercely pressed together as their tongues danced.

Tap. Tap. Tap.

He pulled away so he could see her smile. He made a promise to himself that this was all he would live for, to see that look of joy on her face and her teeth shining behind ruby red lips.

Tap. Tap. Tap.

All that was left were the mementos on the table before him.

Tap. Tap. Tap.

A slim stack of photographs...

Tap. Tap. Tap.

...the letter she had left on his pillow...

Tap. Tap. Tap.

...the scale model of the Eiffel Tower, a souvenir of their trip to Paris...

Tap. Tap. Tap.

...her dried blood on one corner of the base.

Tap.

And a small enamelled tin.

Tap.

He caressed the sides of the tin, turning it gently with his fingertips. He lifted it and emptied the contents into the palm of his right hand. After a brief pause to admire them, one by one he dropped the teeth back into the tin.

16 comments:

  1. Eew! I always thought it was creepy that my mum kept my milk teeth in a tin! This is way creepier! Nice job, Anton. :)

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  2. Tis some teeth tapping at the tin
    Only this, and nothing more.

    He can only keep one of his promises to himself... he won't be able to see the joy on her face BUT her shiny teeth are there for the looking.

    Ah, springtime in Paris, eh?

    Poe would like this. As do I. :)

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  3. A dark, well-written tale Mr. Gully.

    But I am left with a question...what did she do to prompt her lover to murder her and extract her teeth? Smells like a 'prequel' to me.

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  4. Mr. Gully...are you implying that Dear John letters result in dentures? Good to know.

    ;p

    Actually, I really, really like this one. Well done Mister, Mister.

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  5. I'm (possibly) going to Paris for my 1st wedding anniversary. Thanks for the heads-up, I will refrain from purchasing a little eiffel tower

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  6. Thanks for ruining my memories of Paris! Now whenever I think of that romantic city, there'll be just a tinge of the ghoulish around the edges. Seriously, though, very good story. Edgar Poe would be proud.

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  7. Very cool. Great details and structure with the multiple "Tap. Tap. Tap." lines.

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  8. Very sweet, then very creepy, and one didn't hurt the other.

    I dig the "Tap. Tap." gimmick. That sort of thing always works on me, especially when you slice the story in-between it so thinly. I wrote a story using "Clicks" but couldn't keep things nearly as brief as you. Works very nicely here.

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  9. I think I effed up the taps, John. Shoulda interspersed them through the sentences, except for the last two or three. Meh. Next time it'll be right and it'll be BEAUTIFUL!

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  10. What a wonderfully warped mind you have, Anton. At least he kept her smiling teeth.

    Helen
    Straight From Hel

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  11. Nice nod to Poe. The brief touches at the end are nicely done.

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  12. I guess she shouldn't have written that letter...
    Nice one, Anton! Loved the taps.

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  13. I think this actually enhanced my memories of Paris. Loved the tap, tap, tapping, and how quickly you took this from a tender love story to something much more sinister. Brilliantly done.

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  14. No good ever comes from a tapping.
    Unless, of course, you're Gregory Hines.

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