Trudy was grinding flour for her daily bread, according to a recipe that a friendly giant had given her. Trudy was renowned for her ability to whip her ingredients into one dish or another. She would start with the whipping, then follow that with the flaying, the drying and the grinding. She was an old school cook.
An aroma, carried on the breeze that blew through the cave, made her set the mill aside and check the oven. She had a batch of tarts baking. Trudy peeked inside, the heat and the smell washing over her face. Bliss. She fetched the tray out and set it aside to cool. The tarts were perfect. Nobody ever missed them.
She heard a noise from the cave mouth and hurried out to see what it was.
"Sorry..." Sid attempted a sentence. "I was just..." Practice didn't seem to help.
"Hey honey!" Trudy said. "What's that?"
Sid put his hands behind his back, awkwardly. "Nuh-"
It was as if Trudy had five sets of arms the way she swarmed around him. Sid didn't stand a chance. Trudy plucked the letter from him.
"What is this?" she demanded.
"That's my name on it!" she interrupted.
"I-" Sid began.
Trudy straight-armed him in the chest, sending him lumbering backwards. She ripped open the envelope and pulled out the letter. After a few minutes reading it, she looked up at Sid.
"Is this a joke?" she said.
Sid opened his mouth, but Trudy was speaking over him again.
"You're not doing this," she said. "You are not dumping ME. You LOVE me."
Sid sighed. "I DO love you. I love you SO much. I... I never..."
"So why are you doing this?" Trudy said, shaking the letter at him. "Why now? I know you love me!"
"I do, baby," Sid said. "It's just... you're wearing me down."
Trudy snorted. "Wearing you down? This nonsense is wearing me down. Silly man, we can work it out. Is it all the clubbing?"
Sid shook his head. "I like clubbing things. I love it. I'd club anyone for you."
Trudy grabbed Sid's hands, clasped them tight. "So what is it?"
A huge tear rolled down Sid's cheek.
"Oh baby," Sid said. "It's the sex."
Trudy rocked back. "You... don't... like... the... sex...?"
"No, baby! No!" Sid said. "The sex is amazing but it's wearing me down."
"Explain yourself," Trudy said, looking vexed.
"Well... we're both rock trolls, right?"
"Of course," Trudy said.
"But you're an igneous rock troll, and I'm just a limestone rock troll..."
"So?" Trudy demanded.
"Baby, you're wearing me down." Sid glanced at his crotch. "You're harder than I am, baby. You're seriously wearing me down..."